[via GreatWhiteSnark]Possibly the most child-molestery van ever created, behold the Neverending Story van. No amount of anti-strangers public service announcements would have kept me out of this van when I was a kid. To see the rest of this awesome van, CLICK HERE.
On a side note, I've always wanted to see The Neverending Story III, but I never have. Why do I want to see it? Because...
Jack Black plays the main bully. And if that's not awesome enough...
Check out the unibrow! That's like the king of unibrows. And to go along with the awesomeness of King Unibrow, Neverending Story III also has...
...one of the gayest posters in the history of children's films. Wow. Looking at IMDB, I see that star Jason James Richter not only starred in this, Free Willy and the two Free Willy sequels (they should make a part 4 called "Free Willy 4: Fuck Willy, The Stupid Son Of A Bitch Obviously Doesn't Want To Be Free"), but he also starred in...
Whoa! Luke Skywalker and Free Willy kid battling an alien invasion! How did I never see this movie? Here's 10 kickass minutes of Laserhawk:
And for even more awesomeness, the director of Laserhawk, Jean Pellerin, directed Metallica's Cliff 'Em All video, as well as videos for Motley Crue and Skid Row and a documentary about the making of Megadeth's Youthanasia album. Holy shit! From such great beginnings to Laserhawk to directing a Daylight rip-off called Daybreak, starring Roy Scheider (pre-death) and Ted McGinley (Stan Gable, anti-nerd). It's like a rags to riches story, except in reverse.
[The slugline reads, "The shortest distance between two points is disaster." Fuck yeah.]
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Holy CRAP. That's like my dream vehicle. I could do without the roosters inside and a few of the crappy Neverending story II characters though.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I tried watching Neverending 2 a few times, couldn't do it. Sucked way too much. Mostly thanks to the non-Noah Hathaway unlikeability of Atreyu the Uber-Injun. Jonathan Brandis made a decent Bastien, but he's no D.A.R.Y.L.
ReplyDeletelook up noah hathaway on myspace. He's all tatted up now and a bit obsessed with his stripperesque wife.
ReplyDeleteOuch. You broke my childhood.
ReplyDeleteFor the first time ever I kind of wish Boxey had died in the Cylon apocalypse of Caprica.
I'm still looking forward to the Troll remake though.