Behold The FailCave

I think we've become pretty close over these last few weeks. I feel as though I can trust you. After much deep thought and soul-searching, I've decided to invite you into my secret sanctum. My fortress of solitude. My clubhouse of coolness. I give you a glimpse into the FailCave.


This is where I spend much of my time. On the left you can see WOPR. I do most of my important work, crime-fighting, photoshopping, Hello Kitty Online playing, porn watching, from the WOPR. It's a powerhouse supercomputer that will stop at nothing to give me what I need. Even if it means bending the law on occasion.

To the right you can see JOSHUA. JOSHUA is responsible for the downloading of movies and software and the burning of movies and software. Without JOSHUA I would be crippled and useless. Without JOSHUA I would never have my own copy of Rawhead Rex or The Gate 2: The Trespassers.


Obviously, a closeup of WOPR. I could probably start a global thermonuclear war with WOPR if I wanted to. Or play a shitload of tic-tac-toe. The best thing about WOPR is that once I watched Battlestar Galactica on it while I was pooping. How awesome is that? Pretty fucking awesome, that's how awesome it is.


Tetsuo is my sidekick. He's been with me through thick and thicker. I've had him longer than I had Bubo. I have to be careful to not get into a headbutt contest with Tetsuo, or I'll be all out of sidekicks.

I hope you enjoyed this tour of the FailCave. I enjoyed showing you. Maybe you can come hang out sometime. No? Yeah, no, that's cool. Yeah, I'm busy too, doing, like, stuff all the time. So yeah, I was just being polite anyway or whatever.