Totino's Party Pizza In Frying Pan

Totino's Party Pizzas are the best food ever. $1.15 each, 10 minutes in the oven, you can't go wrong with Party Pizzas. Unless your oven goes wrong and you don't own a microwave. Which is what happened to me. And all I had to eat in the house was stuff that can only be cooked in an oven or a microwave. Because I'm stupid.

So, I covered the pan with foil because I figured this would end badly and I'm too lazy to wash a dish.

I put a lid on the pan to keep the heat in, hoping that might magically change it from a frying pan with a lid into one of those stone pizza ovens that I saw on the food channel.

I set the burner to as close to medium heat as I could (you can see how helpful the knobs are for determining settings) and hoped it wouldn't burn too badly.

So, after about 15 minutes... Ta-da!

Mmm, perfect! I mean, Mmm, half-melted and slimy! Unfortunately I couldn't cook it any longer, because...

...it was already burnt to charcoal on the bottom. I knew this wouldn't cook any better than it did, but I was filled with a child-like hope that throwing a frozen pizza in a pan would all work out somehow. I believe in unicorns too, for the record.

(I just noticed that in this picture my hand looks like a thalidomide lobster appendage. Weird.)

So yeah. Lukewarm and slimy on top with an unpleasant "not cooked" flavor and inedibly burnt on the bottom. I ate the whole son of a bitch though. I mean, even bad pizza is pretty good pizza. Except for this one. But I was hungry. Really, really hungry. Don't judge me.